BMP14
nzpoetsonline
Troy Hasler

New Zealand

I

I desire
Lifes pure white dove.
In between fig leaves
I desire love

I want
Loves pure sweet wings.
Hold me close, this I want
above all things.

I wish
Someone pure and true.
Loving me for who I am
I wish I could find you.

I need
Loves innocent strength.
To keep my life going
Through eternities length.






Daytime


If love were a fuel
Then everyday I fill
Myself with her.

She fills me with
A need to love,
She is the air that I breathe
And the food that I eat.

If not for her light,
My life would be dark.
If not for her heat,
My life would be cold.

She is the sun rising
On a mid summer morning,
Glistening on the dew,
Sparkling on the ocean.

She is the midnight moon
Whole and in splendor,
Beaming amongst the stars,
Queen of my night.

She is my daytime,
For at the end of my
Darkest night
I know she will be there.


Goodbye

I still see your face
When I close my eyes at night
Like a black souled Aphrodite
That’s swallowed the light.

And though I still long
To see you smile,
Without feeling an ache in my heart
Could be a while.

So I shut out the memories
That I’ll never forget
And awaken on pillows that
From my tears are still wet.



Muse

Before you there was no sun,
My daytimes were cold and dark
Like the night.

I was careening headlong into an abyss
Grabbing futilely for handholds.

Then came you.

You are my sun.
Your smile lights my days,
Your Image brightens my nights.

You are my rock,
A sturdy foothold for reality.
My foundation for life.

You make me laugh.

When I look at you
I lose my train of thought,
I lose myself in your eyes.

When you smile
You break my heart,
I feel it stop when you look at me,
I feel it ache when you leave.

You are my muse.





Now I wander

Beyond the horizon
Where following it,
The sun denies the night.

I’ve been there once,
To that place where
Love exists bodily.
A true Venus to my Mars.

Yet, sorely, I lost the path.
Once more a philanderer on
The amber soaked shore
Of destitution.

A cognitive miser,
Or a rising sun?
Not yet part way to the
Zenith of my creativity.

Yes, I knew her once.
I followed her curves with my
eye. The lusty representation
Of poetry in life.

Yet I have lost the path,
And now I wander.





Beautiful, She is..

Lustrous,
Her hair jet black,
Glistening and flowing
Like water.

Her eyes, dark pools
Like magnets drawing
the life from within,
the depth of them frightening.

Smooth and white
her skin,
Like porcelain.
She looks fragile,
Like a doll.

Graceful.
All of her movements
Certain and sure,
A ballet dancer
Sure footed and serene.

Beautiful, she is.





Bleed

Once more
I lie here listening
To the rain. As it draws
Earthworms to the surface,
So too does it draw out the
loneliness that I now feel.

Like a wound, it opens
And bleeds onto this paper,
This starched lined pad
My confessional,
And the pen in my hand
Is my rosary.

So I lay here and bleed.

And as sleep overcomes me
I return to the womb.
Foetal in position I am
oblivious to the world.
In dreams of love and lust
Where I hold all of the power,
Yet control none of it.






Love?

I don’t know what love is anymore,
But I know how I feel when I look at you.

It’s the same feeling I get when
On summer nights I lie on the beach
And stare at the stars.

The same as when the sun and moon
Seemingly hold hands in broad daylight.

When I hear crashing waves, singing birds
and gentle rain, a purring cat or the
gentle sighs you sometimes make.

Or a rising moon and setting sun,
Like one things finished
And a new one begun.
The mere sound of you breathing instills
Me with a peacefulness I
Never though I’d know.

I may not know what love is,
But I do know how I feel about you.





Island

I am an island.
Surrounded on all sides
Yet solitary in my existence.

And though the sea sometimes
Rises above, plunging me below to
Places cold, wet and dark.

Still I rise,
Reaching toward the sun
In hope of a miracle,
With faith strengthened.

How lonely it is.
Am I not now just an object?
A thing? Transparent
In my being, yet as
Obvious as a fly speck.

And though, daily, they pass by,
Still I go unnoticed.

So surrounded, yet solitary,
Its all I can do to not cry.
The rain falls on my upturned face,
While waiting, I ponder unknowns.






Bleed II

In the darkness,
Possibly my darkest night.
The rain falls like tears from the sky.

I am alone,
Not just physically,
My soul itself is empty
And crying for deliverance.

I can cry here in the darkness,
And no-one can see me,
No-one will see this pain,
Or the anger that binds it.

And with the tears comes
The relief that I am human,
I can love and be loved,
..hurt and be hurt..
I can feel pain.

And from my broken heart,
I can bleed.

The shattered pieces pierce my soul,
And as the melancholy drags me down
I succumb to the darkness and dream.





Can this be love?

Why is it not your face I see
When I close my eyes at night?
You’re not my first thought when I wake
And in darkness you’re not my light.

But I do enjoy our time together,
Is that enough to make now ..
.. Forever?

Is love always this uncertain?
Hiding the truth behind an iron curtain.

I don’t see a sparkle in your eye
When you look at me.
I wish I could be inside you
And see me as you see.

There are no answers to these questions,
Time will tell, that is what’s known.
And even trees that are a hundred years old
Were once seeds now matured and grown.



Bio:
"I'm currently living and working at Mt Maunganui, and studying towards the
Bachelor of Management Studies (BMS) through Waikato University.

This is the first time I've had any of my poems published"