​Bluffing the Oyster Molesters
 “The new marketing regulations protect the oysters from imposters.” 
(NZ fishing ministry press release)


No noisy noise annoys an oyster
        unless the oyster’s an imposter
                of foul intent, preparing to molest or

otherwise betray its lust for
        being just a random boaster
                disguised as a clam, a wicked trickster

moved up on the bivalve roster
        by the latest strong nor’wester
                ready to stand and stay, desist or

take its place on a restaurant list or
        bide in place through tide and twister
                serving as a plankton dumpster.






Mary Cresswell is from Los Angeles and lives on the Kapiti Coast. She is a science editor who turned to poetry on retirement, and she is very happy to be part of the poetic scene.