Along with my three children, I reside in a small seaside village in the Moreton Bay region of Queensland, Australia. I am of Celtic and NZ Māori descent and have tribal affiliations to Te Atiawa, Raukawa, Kahungunu through my dad’s side, and Te Whānau-ā-Apanui, Ngāti Porou, Ngāpuhi, Kai Tahu through my mum.
Shadows of the Mind 
Ngā Atārangi o te hinengaro
Swirl, swirl through dimension and time Hurihuri ma roto i ngā āhuatanga me te wā
Speak, shout without rhythm & rhyme Korero, pararehe kore mata kore whiti
Coldness, blankness, whisper, murmur Mātao, ātea, kohumuhumu, kowhetewhete
With thunder bursts the heart Me ka papa ā te ngākau whatitiri
O child, sweet child Aue tamaiti, tamaiti atāhua
I abandoned you I whakarerea ahau i a koe
O mother, dear mother Aue whaea, taku ūkaipo
You have forsaken me Kua whakarerea koe i ahau
Tears pave the stone around me Taupokingia te kohatu ki taku taha e ngā roimata
The scratching you hear Ko ngā rapirapitanga e rongo nei koe
is the guilt inside Ko te hara i roto
The face you wear Ko te mata e mau nei koe
Is the bed of sorrow Ko te moenga o te pōuritanga
That pulls at borrowed years I kumea i ngā tau tuku mai
My heart is dim Maiangi taku ngākau
Clothed by withered skin Kakahungia i te kiri komeme
My fingers pull at... Kumea aku matihao i
The shadows of my mind Ngā atārangi o toku hinengaro
They laugh such a laugh Ka kata rātou he tumomo kata
That echo in the darkness Ka kō i te pōuri kerekere
And beat my eyes slam shut Ka tāngia aku kamo kia whakapā
I twist in pain Kowhiritia ahau i te mamae
My blood boils to anger Ka koropupū taku toto i te riri
Through bitterness my life drains Nā te kakatitanga ka heke iho toku oranga
The stillness a deafening silence Whakaturi te mūmū o te marire
With trembling lips I aku ngutu wiriwiri
I kiss aside madness Kihia e au ki te taha te porangi
And the shadows that it brings Me ngā atārangi i homai
I hammer out this death, wake me up Hamangia ahau tenei mate, whakaohoia ahau
Wake from the slumber, wake me up Whakaoho mai i te moe, whakaohoia ahau
Shake me from the dust Ruiruia ahau i te puehu
That covers my eyes I uhia aku kamo
Hear that beat, a different beat Whakarongoki te taki, he taki rereke
I want to walk to another sound Pirangi ahau ki te haere ki tētahi atu tangi
O child, life did shake a bloody blow Aue tamaiti, ka rūrū te oranga
It stole the frame and picture I tahaetia te kōpari me te whakāhua
Let sacred waters heal Waiho ma ngā wai tapu e whakaora
And write to your book Me tuhi ki tou pukapuka
And first chapter Me te wāhanga tuatahi
Comb the knots from your hair Herua ngā pūtiki mai o makawe
And gracefully let them fall Tukua kia taka whakatautautia
Shake your whaariki to and fro Rūrū to whāriki ki mua ki muri
And with its cleansing comes the morrow Nā te mā ka haeremai āpōpō
Brighter with each glow Me tōna mumura
Grass glistening upon the new day Kanapanapa te otaota i te rā hou
The sun comes to play Ka whiti mai te rā
The warming breath blankets a new seed Te hā mahana hei korowai mo te kakano hōu
Melting sadness into hope Ka rewa te pōuritanga ki roto i te tūmanako
Sweet melody of kindness and compassion Tangi roreka o manākitanga me āroharoha
These gifts engulf me Ka roromi ahau ēnei taonga
And in my light I stand Ka tū ahau i roto i taku marama ake
One hand raised Kua hikitia te ringa kotahi
To the sound of one hand clapping... Ki te haruru o tētahi ringa ki te pakipaki
This bilingual poem is about experiencing a life tragedy and whether we choose to fight or take flight. I talk
about the brink of depression and the ability to not collapse oneself in it.
